Monday, December 21, 2009

What are you giving this Christmas?


It’s here again…that magical time of the year is here again…oh yes it’s Christmas.

Usually every holiday, especially that time of the year, people start becoming forgiving, forgetting and all about giving, and making others happy.

This Christmas, have you thought about what you want to give? And by this I don’t mean gifts or any materials items, I meant what do you want to give people around you?

This might seem selfish; however, to end up the year with a great achievement, what about giving people at the office something that will help them end their year on a better tone.

In order to do that, you have to practice, in a simple yet a very powerful way, the art of coaching, and more specifically how to make people feel understood.

By coaching people, you will strengthen your relationships, people will feel that you are a source of trust and you will feel like you have made a difference in your workplace.

If you are ready, then you are 5 steps away of becoming a workplace catalyst of change :

1- What’s in it for them: Often in our conversations we end up talking about ourselves and fail to understand or learn what people are truly saying.

In order to do that we have to Actively Listen; doing that requires that you give the full attention to people when you ask them a question, yes it means leaving your computer keyboard or your phone to concentrate on what they are saying.

2- Ask open questions: And that relates to point one, the question will have to be about them, and you will have to resist introducing your personal stories in the conversation unless you are asked to. A sample open question is: “What motivates you?” and if they answer growth or achievement resist the temptation to say “me too” or “yes I also like….. because it makes me….” Remember you want to be helping others so try to learn about them.

3- Encourage them to come up with their own ideas: If you asked them what motivates them or what makes them happy, ask them how would they like to take things forward, and by this I mean what are possible ways for them to reach their goals. Again here, resist the temptation of giving personal advice; instead encourage them to come up with ideas and solutions.

4- Listening to their ideas. Listening is a big part of helping others. When someone is telling you about a certain idea, try to learn what this idea truly represents. Summarize what they have said to make sure you got it correctly, this will also show the speaker that you are truly listening to them,

5- Help them turn their ideas into actions Ideas are useless unless they are executed. In order to make an idea happen, one has to turn it into a plan of action. A good way that will make their ideas happen is to make them fill a table like the one below:

What is the action point that you will execute

By when will that point be achieved

What Support do you need and from whom

How will you track your progress measure your success

Make sure they are specific when they fill the table, and ask them to choose a mentor ( it could be you) to follow up on those action points.

Christmas is a time of giving, and the self satisfaction from giving others new ways to think is priceless. So Merry Christmas, and good luck.

Camil El Khoury is The Author of "Do What you Love, Love What you do" and the Chief Vision Officer of ideas group; the leading experiential learning firm in the AME region (Africa and the Middle East)


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